Natasha Richardson

In light of the tragic jet ski incident that took Natasha Richardson from us I’d like to remember some of the shining moments of this dear lady’s life. Richardson, mid 50′s is survived by her husband Tim “The Tool Man”  Taylor of noted works, that movie where his dick was to big to fuck his wife, Star Wars, Gangs of New York and Kinsey.

Richardson was an avid water sports enthusiast, obviously until she got Bono’ed by the sport she loved so much. Richardsons diverse drama career covered a vast array of afternoon TV commercials for Swanson frozen meals to gracing the Prime Time market with Zachary Tye Bryant and Wilson “The  Faceless Pervert that Keeps Peaking Over the Goddamned Fence”.

Unfortunately at the height of Richardon’s career Tool Time went off the air due to the blooming adolescence of Zachary Tye Bryant , Johnathan Taylor Thomas and John Wilkes Booth. The show no longer appealed to its demographic due to that fact that:

1.) Kids in Detroit are black.

2.) The subtle homosexual element of the character Al made ‘motor-city’ working men uncomfortable.

3.) The Stunning Debbie Dunning cleaned up, found Jesus and Mom pants.

After earning a degree in Home Making at Traverse City Community College Richardson rediscovered her place in the family dynamic, gave her right vote and excelled in the kitchen. She started a movement called “Yes we can – go backwards!”. She organized rallies in Detroit damning Gloria Steinem for leading Americas women astray, perpetuating the Red Menance, and killing babies. These rallies would culminate in an orgy of fire and violence that shook Detroit and were attributed to White Flight.

She is most remembered for supporting Mel Gibson during his trying time when the Jew’s were keeping him down. She drew strength and guidance from her husbands role as Schindler Pennypincher, in that movie where Germany’s dick was too big to accept the Jews.

Richardson never mentioned her father who was known for working two full time manfactuing jobs to support her acting career. But that’s okay because no one cares about the working class schmuck anyway.